Allow me to introduce myself again

RoveDaily’s doyenne of decorum, Terri Psiakis, advises the absent-minded on losing names and faces.

Dear Terri,

I always forget people's names and how I know them. There's even been a few times when someone's come up to me and said, “Remember me?” and I haven't been able to. Once, the person told me when and where we met and I still couldn't remember anything about them. Is there a polite way to handle these situations without hurting the other person's feelings?

Forgetful, Ashburton VIC

Dear Forgetful,

You need to stop drinking heavily right now. Just kidding – everybody's entitled to self-medicate. Nurse!

I like you, Forgetful, because your concern is for the other person. You don't want to make yourself look good, you want to avoid hurting their feelings. I like how you care (or at least, pretend to).

If it makes you feel better, I share your exact problem. I found that the best cover was to invent a drug phase for myself. Say something like, “Sorry, that was my acid phase. I won't remember you unless you're melting, visually pulsating or on fire.” People are generally too fascinated by this response to feel the slightest bit hurt that you don't remember anything about them.

If you want to steer clear of the drug references, fake it. Pretend you remember them. This buys you time, because even if they've told you where and when you met, there are certain questions you can ask to pinpoint them further. The question, “So, what do you think about tattoos, birthmarks or unusual freckles?” is a great one to determine if you've slept together, because if they've got any, they'll probably show you, and that should jog your memory.

Similarly, you should always ask, “Have you caught up with Dave lately?” I have a theory that everyone in this country knows at least one person named Dave, and the info they provide about their Dave should tell you exactly which Dave they know, and will therefore put them into context for you.

And from now on you should secretly photograph everyone you meet, make a few notes about them and store this information in your mobile. Next time you get “Remember me?” fake it until you can excuse yourself and check your dossier. Enjoy.

Got a problem? You name it, Terri can help! Email your questions to Terri at DearTerri@rove.com.au