DAILY NEWS - Rove Daily

HOROSCOPES

Capricorn

That awful dream about falling will become horribly real when you wake up to find you blacked out while skydiving. The shock alone may be enough to kill you. >>

Aries

Don’t let the fact that your soul mate is a fictional character discourage you in your quest for love. Your friends may laugh at you behind your back, but hey, they always did. >>

Libra

You don’t seem to have a thing to wear. That’s because you’re not looking in your wardrobe, you’re looking in your fridge. Start paying more attention. >>

Scorpio

A round of layoffs at the local factory will not affect you, mainly because you don’t work at the local factory. In fact, you haven’t worked in years! >>

Sagittarius

Call your travel agent and book a fabulous romantic getaway for two. Then ask the travel agent to accompany you. When he or she awkwardly refuses, cancel the trip. >>

Virgo

You could stand there waiting for a bus that may or may not show up, or you could just go home and back to bed. My advice is to go get some sleep. >>

Pisces

Find out everything you can about the star sign Gemini. Dig up all the dirt you can on them, then make up some stuff. Destroy them before they destroy you. >>

Leo

Just because you’re on the run from the law and living under a false name, doesn’t mean you can’t get married and start a family. Just tell more lies. >>

Aquarius

Surprise your lover with a spontaneous and sexy act. Like gluing the torn pages of an old porno mag all over your body and running through a shopping centre. >>

Taurus

Apply for jobs that you are in no way qualified for. Then use the inevitable rejection as proof that you are a loser. Wallow in front of the TV for days afterwards. >>

Cancer

Live your life the way you want to. No one else can make your decisions for you. Only you can make you happy. You’re not gonna wear that shirt are you? >>

Gemini

Strange noises will keep you awake this week. Is that someone trying to get in to your house? No. Actually it’s someone trying to escape from your house. >>

Next on the Show

Ricki-Lee

Chart-topping singer Ricki-Lee returns to the Australian Idol stage as host of the 2008 series, launching Sunday night on Network Ten.

Panic at the Disco

Panic at the Disco burst onto the music scene in 2005 with their debut album A Fever You Can’t Sweet Out.

More >>