Fuelled by a tankful attitude

Petrol prices are sky-high but surely that's not a good thing, right? Dave Jory adds fuel to a very expensive fire.

If you're anything like me, you've pulled up to your local service station recently and been greeted by the news that petrol is now more than $1.70 a litre. And, like me, you probably thought, “Awesome. This must be some high quality petrol. Those petrol companies must really have the recipe just right at last!" See, I feel so much more comfortable putting the expensive gourmet juice in my car rather than that cheap, nasty seventy-cents-a-litre poison they used to sell.

You could say that I've been waiting my whole driving life for the good stuff. My car may not be what you'd call a 'high performance' vehicle, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't have the very best. One question though. Why is it that I'm paying today's prices for petrol that's called '2000 Unleaded'? I'm not complaining, but if the petrol was brewed eight years ago, shouldn't I be paying year 2000 prices?

But truly, I don't care when it was made. I don't want to rock the boat. I'm just happy and very, very grateful that petrol companies are finally giving us access to the very best stuff available. And the fun doesn't stop there! I've heard a rumour that an even better petrol will be released, a petrol so amazing that it costs more $2.00 a litre! That's right, more than $2.00 a litre! Imagine how great that petrol will be. The average family car will probably be able to fly with a tankful of gas of such high quality.

Yes indeed, these are exciting times to be a motorist. We've never had it so good. In fact, I'm saving up my cash and sleeping in my car so I can be first in line at the service station for a tankful of the new formula two-dollars-a-litre petrol.

Thank you, petrol companies. And keep up the awesome work!